Enjoying being lost at sea & saying Thank you

It's time to write a blog and I have seriously started 4 different topics. focus issues anyone?

I was listening to Derek O'Neill's radio show The Way this past Monday on dream interpretations and there were two dreams that involved the ocean. Both were very deep and both were connected in some way to being lost at sea. Let's just say I could relate.

I live near the ocean and lately I have been going to the beach every day. It's like home. I watch and I listen to the waves and somehow feel something inside say, "yes, this is how it is - ebb flow ebb flow - Trust in trust."  I long to maintain a center point - a resting spot, and yet the flow just seems to flow completely out of my control. like the breath - in, out, in, out. In reaching for a resting spot or an answer, solution, something -  I see how I am actually pushing it away from me and creating more discomfort.

It's funny too, because my life is incredibly blessed right now: I live in a beautiful place, I am developing my own business doing what I love and what I feel my purpose is; I just released a beautiful CD; I have friends and family all around me. So what gives? What is this lingering sense of being lost at sea? This feeling that can hit me sometimes leaving me feeling quite uncomfortable and in the unknown?

I am not totally sure what it is, but I am grateful for it. I am grateful because I hold certain spiritual teachings, like "What we focus on expands." And so, when I am feeling lost, I think "Thank you". When I am feeling happy, I think "Thank you".  Slowly, slowly I believe this practice of awareness and gratitude helps to bring the polarizations that live within me into Union, transcending a sense of duality and separation.

I remember one time being at Creacon while teaching music in the middle east and was talking to Derek and sharing some of my struggles. His words often still come to me: "Throw out all the other teachings and say thank you for everything"

so that's what I continue to do. When I am too in my head scrolling through all the different teachings, I just breath and say, "Thank you". Try it. It really works.

And in the meantime, why not enjoy the view of the vast deep blue ocean of unknown we are all floating around in right now?

thanks for taking this journey with me. It's so nice to know I am not alone.

love love love 

Alicia

2012: Isn't it Amazing? CD Release

Mother Love, Valentines Day, and a NEW CD!

2012 Valentines day. How strange for me to be thinking of my mother. Or is it? Yes, it's true. Every valentines day I always got a card from my mom. I remember one time when I was living in Brooklyn in my late 20's thinking, really? Will I ever grow up and get a card (not to mention a dozen roses) from my beloved, vs. "just my mom"?

And now, almost 5 years after she has passed, I think. wow, it would be so awesome to get a card from my mom. My mom gave great cards throughout my whole life. Sometimes they were clever, sometimes they were deep and spiritual, but they were always filled with love and true knowledge of who I was. What a gift.  The last one she gave me was really funny and actually joked about (in a very compassionate way) how I had had many many girlfriends and still couldn't seem to get it quite right.

I was blessed. I grew up with many kinds of love in my house and as a result Valentines Day now is truly about Divine love for me. So often, we can all get caught up in the romance version of love - in the let's fall in love and run away kind of love, in the "he hurt me, that jerk" kind of love. My mom's cards held the - "I love you no matter what" kind of love. the "I am so grateful you were born" kind of love.

The Fire of Divine Love.

On March 22, I am releasing a new CD - a CD of songs that holds an expansive idea of love. After writing many many years about lost love, broken love, and when will I get the love?,  it feels great to be offering this CD called : 2012: Isn't it Amazing? - Songs & Chants for the New Vibration. I am so happy to be webcasting a concert LIVE from the Cape Cod Chat House. It will be invitation only, so if you are interested, please get in touch with me through FACEBOOK or TWITTER.

And so on this Valentines day, that is what I wish for all of you: Feel Loved. Truly loved just for being you. And if there isn't another person in your life who can tell you that right now, trust that by loving yourself, more and more love will appear and bring you deeper and deeper into your True Source and the highest Truth: You Are Love.

We create everything. What do you want to create?

2012. It's here. it feels good.

The past five years of my life have been incredibly awakening, challenging, expansive, ridiculous, regressive, fabulous, strange and familiar. and now here I am. and every message I receive from the Universe. is LET GO OF THE PAST. LET IT BE. TRUST.

so, how do we do that? It's easy to read quotes, reference teachers, and even write songs (at least for me), but how do we truly look back for the last time and step forward with a new heart. And is that even possible? A part of me says it is, and yet I can feel how much I love to roll around in my past - hold on to it - feel it like I am still there, mine if for wisdom and creative inspiration. I mean come on, there's some pretty cool stuff back there. like the 80's. Michael Jackson's Thriller. The rubix cube. Hanging with my cousin Elizabeth in Ahlignton Centa.

One of my favorite astrologers, Michael Lutin says that the planetary energy we are in right now is 1983. yikes! I was 12 going on 13. kind of a happening time for the little being I was. Last week I had a beautiful experience of stepping into my future with ease, joy and grace. I had the privlledge of sharing myself musically in service of a group chanting party right here on Cape Cod. It was one of those moments when you can feel the Divine Blueprint of your life clicking into alignment. Awesome and filled with Grace!

And so, after growing up here on Cape Cod in the 80's, it was magical and almost surreal to drive up to a lakeside/woodside  home that had an energy of love and transformation and service to the Divine that I thought I needed to go to California or somewhere else to experience. It certainly didn't exist on Cape Cod. And then, in the way the Universe loves to show you who you are, the host says to me, there is someone who is excited to see you. It was my 7th & 8th grade Science teacher. YES. 1983 baby. What a gift. And in that moment I remembered something he said, "You may have a job in the future that doesn't even exist yet". And I smiled thinking. "This is the job. This is the future and I am here"

And so, it is now and I am here. I am aware I have far more wisdom, willingness to serve, and intention to be in my Truest self than I ever have and yet, the truth is, sometimes I just feel like I'm 12. So, hey, maybe that's what 2012 will feel like for a while. It's not the end of the world, though some may experience that way.

I choose to LOVE. I choose to LOVE me - the 12 year old and the 40 year old. The Being that transcends all labels and ages and times and emotions. I choose to LOVE like I've never loved before and then laugh as everything unfolds in a brand new way.

If we are creating everything, what do you CHOOSE to create?