A rose and dog poo

creation. and non-creation.

I wrote this on the verge of 2011.

When I wrote this I had no idea that I would be back in the US as of Jan 31.

2011 is a wonderfully expansive year - for me and the whole world.

the wallet miracle and remembering my mom

I am on my way out of Beirut via Paris to Boston. I am grateful.

yesterday, the day before I was leaving I managed to "lose" my wallet on the way home from a restaurant. I didn't notice until the next morning when I was heading to school. Once I noticed I could not find my wallet, I immediately knew it had fallen from my pocket somewhere between paying for my meal at Olio in Hamra and my apartment at the bottom of the hill.

My first response was: thank you. thank you universe for showing me something. I assessed that I had my passport, I had cash and everything in my wallet could be cancelled and/or replaced. so yes even though it was a drag, especially the day before I head back to the states for two weeks and Christmas, it was not the end of the world.

I also then thought, whoever found my wallet needs the money more than I do. thank you again I said for showing me nothing is permanent.

I then went about my hectic morning and did not panic about my wallet. I told a few people and my middle school principal agreed to check Olio when he had to go up to the bank. About mid-morning I got an email from Kaline, my friend and HR rep at school: "did you lose something? I got a strange phone call.". I responded immediately, "Yes do you have my wallet?". she replied, "no, but a nice man does."

I came to find out that a man who spoke and read no english and was not native to Lebanon (he was probably from Syria) had found it and could not sleep all night feeling he had to get it back to the owner. He found a Fidelity insurance card in the wallet and went to the Fidelty office asking for help to find the owner. They called Kaline and she used the fidelty number to recognize that it was my wallet. I met this man up in Hamra and he returned the wallet to me complete with everything including about $150. This is what we call Grace or good karma.

Sometimes the universe or you or God gives you these experiences to remind you of how blessed you are and how good humanity wants to be. My little personal piece of it was that it reminded me of my mom and the many, many times I lost my wallet between the ages of 16 and 28 and how crazy it would make her. I always got it back and I never really worried about it, but it used to make her crazy.

I felt like she was giving me a little message saying, yes Alicia even though the world will beat the shit out of you sometimes, don't lose hope.

Gratitude in Istanbul - on my way to Ireland

It's been too long since I blogged.

Six weeks.

It's been a hell of a six weeks. not outside, but inside. Outside, life has been about the same. Yes, I live in Beirut, Lebanon, but that all seems surprisingly normal. Mostly I teach at a private American school with the typical pressures of report cards, committed but complaining teachers, and kids who find education mostly boring and way behind the way their brains and all the technology they own works.

So as I go about my daily responsibilities and be in service the best I can, I ask all the same questions I have always asked: Is this really where I am supposed to be? Am I happy? Am I making the most of my life? How do I acknowledge the reality I see around me and yet hold a higher reality of Oneness and Wellness? Will I ever know what I want to be when I grow up?

Last night I went to my weekly meditation group, which is one of my favorite parts of my life and community here in Beirut and we ended by sitting in a circle and each sharing what we are grateful for. In hindsight it reminds me a little of my mom and when we used to sit around our kitchen table and she would make us all say one thing we were grateful for. Inside (down deep) I loved it, but I often acted like it was dumb or annoying because I thought that made me cool and like everyone else. Not unlike the 8th grade students I teach, I suppose.

but I digress.

let's get back to gratitude. The meditation group.

In this circle of gratitude, there was so much love and peace and power and stillness.

In this circle of gratitude, I had no more questions. I was fully present. in Gratitude.

What did I say I was grateful for?

my breath. and each day I wake up still breathing on this dimension

my family - grandparents, parents, siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews

the Teachers and Teachings I have been blessed to experience in this lifetime

Derek and Linda and the sacred home of SQ and Ireland that I am on my way to right now

Sound - the sounds we make, the sounds we hear, the never ending sounds that heal. the gifts I have to share this sound. The silence that only sound can make.

What are you grateful for?

Hamra - My 'hood

Happy October!

I finally got internet access at home this last week - yay! It feels so strange in a way now to have 24 hour access to the internet, something many of us just take for granted. As a result I am enjoying a lazy Sat morning with my coffee and the NYTimes online.

I just ran across this article that is about my neighborhood, Hamra, in Beirut. It's funny to read it in the NYTimes and reflect on how I don't really absorb information unless I experience it first-hand. I think I have always been like that. And so, living here and reading about Hamra or Hezbollah or Syria (all of which are written about in the Times today) resonates so much more because I am here. I am able to synthesize and process the information on so many levels because I am walking the streets and meeting people from all over the region. It's an amazing privledge and one I hope will lead to service I can't even yet imagine.

Enjoy the article and ask me any questions you want. peace out! oh and, come visit and experience it for yourself! :)

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/02/arts/02iht-scbeirut.html


Things Are Happening in Hamra

Bryan Denton for The International Herald Tribune
One word embodies all that is most dynamic, inspiring and authentic about Beirut: Hamra.
By SETH SHERWOOD
Published: October 1, 2010

BEIRUT — Take one of Beirut’s battered 1970s Mercedes taxis through the city center and you’ll chance across plenty of gold-plated names these days. Here, splayed across one of the plywood walls that surround proliferating construction sites is the logo for Norman Foster’s architectural firm, announcing a trio of residential towers. There, on a billboard down the street from the glitzy Buddha Bar is the signature bald head of the French architect Jean Nouvel, who’s creating a complex called, modestly, The Landmark.

Thanks to a couple of years of relative stability, this Middle Eastern capital is building like the Pharaohs. But the boom has come at a cost. Older buildings, full of wonderful Arabian details, have been demolished. People on five-figure incomes have been priced out.

Fortunately, there is an antidote. When the personality of the city starts to feel stifled by steel and glass, I often catch a taxi and tell the driver the one word that embodies all that is most dynamic, inspiring and authentic about Beirut: Hamra.

Long the center of intellectual life and leftist politics before the 1975-1990 civil war, this neighborhood of venerable six-story apartment buildings, leafy university campuses and teeming street life has been undergoing a renaissance of its own. A spate of new book-lined Wi-Fi cafes, contemporary art spaces, cozy bars, and eclectic music clubs are helping re-establish Hamra as the city’s most progressive, happening corner.

Keep reading at: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/02/arts/02iht-scbeirut.html

Breathing - Back to basics

Well I've been in Beirut for about 5 weeks and all is well. I could tell you about the day to day here, but with the Equinox and full moon tomorrow I am in a bit more of a universal and expansive space.

The truth is, the longer I walk this path, I realize that it doesn't matter where I am in the physical, my greatest experiences now lie within. So, no matter where I am, I experience my inner thoughts and these inner thoughts are with me wherever I am. Some days my thoughts are easy and graceful, like a loving ocean or kind mother, while other days my thoughts seem to be spinning in self-doubt, questioning, judgement, and child-like fear.

If I am conscious, I begin to notice that the people around me (including my students and colleagues) only reflect my inner thoughts that are always there. This truth is becoming clearer and clearer to me and though I am not always sure how to work with this truth in my day to day life, my clear experience of it is powerful and is changing me.

In this change and uncertainty, I choose to get back to basics. I focus on my breath. This is something I learned when I first became an athlete, something I practice as a singer, and something I re-learn all the time in the yoga classes I take. I focus on my breath. notice it. follow it. honor it. breath deeper. breath slower. breath. life is this basic, if we let it be.

Let it be. I have been teaching my students that song for the past couple weeks. Let it be. Great song and if you sing it, it reminds you to breath. The elementary school principal here asked me to sing something at our first assembly - a total surprise to me - and without even thinking I sang a little of Let it be. People keep coming up to me saying - I love that song. thank you. I love your voice. It wasn't only me or my voice that resonated with them - I believe they are responding to my ability to breath and be present in a spontaneous moment. My confidence in this spontaneous moment gave me joy and therefore others joy. this is what we are all doing all the time. Being our true selves and inspiring others to be in their truth.

Some days I am more conscious then others. some days I go to the gym. some days I drink a beer. some days I go to the gym AND drink a beer. some days I facilitate a healing. some days I go home and have a good cry. some days I have a great music class and feel I am truly touching students. some days I feel like I don't know how to teach at all and wonder if someone I work for will notice. Some days I am so happy to have my own apartment, no partner and no kids, like it's the greatest gift the universe gave me. Some days I am lonely and wonder why am I alone in a foreign country with no family. Some days I think I am here serving humanity. Some days I think I am here to heal my left-over middle school pain (of which there is a bit). Some days I think there is no real reason I am here at all. it just is.

These are my thoughts and I am getting better and better at watching them vs. attaching to which one is true or judging myself for even having them. The big theme over the last 5 weeks amidst all these thoughts has been: Your breath is everything. breath deeper. breath slower. learn how to breath and teach others. And so, this is what I do - here in Beirut and wherever I am.

I am teaching my music students how to breath so they can sing. I go to a meditation class here in Beirut and breath with other people. Everywhere I am I ask people, "are you breathing?". They often smile, say "no", and then take a breath. So ask yourself right now: are you breathing?

If everything is in our breath, imagine what we could create if we were consciously breathing deeply all the time.

And if not, don't worry. go to the gym. drink a beer. meditate. do yoga. laugh at a new episode of Glee. whatever works. it's all God. Enjoy the New England (if you live there) fall season. I am still using AC over here.

love love love
Alicia

August in Beirut

Hello Friends!

I have been in Beirut for just a week and so far all is well - and I really mean it. :) My apt. is great - it's big, clean and has lots of AC. August by the mediterrean is hot and humid! so the AC is very important. I have been welcomed with lots of love - both in attitude and practicallity, which after my Cairo experience is greatly appreciated. It's amazing to be picked up at the airport, taken to your new apt. and already have a few items in your fridge. that kind of hospitality goes a long way. And let me tell you - the Lebanese are ALL ABOUT hospitality - and FOOD.

I was blessed to spend by 39th birthday with my dear friend Mariam from childhood. she drove me up the mountain to a beautiful Italian restaurant that felt far more like Europe than any middle eastern country. That's what Beirut is like - international and highly influenced by Europe. If it weren't for the political instability, I have no doubt Lebanon would be one of the hottest tourist spots in the world - with fine dining, live music, mountain hikes and skiiing as well as time by the sea. Truly beautiful.

On the school front, I am officially a middle school teacher. I will be teaching Grade 5-8 but my "home" will really be the middle school and I will also be an advisor to about 9 kids. What this exactly entails I am not sure, but I am imagining it will give me lots of opportunities to reflect back on my won middle school experience - a thought that brings me both excitement and trepidation.

There is so much to share already and school hasn't even started yet, but stay tuned. I may update the blog more than once a month, but will only send out monthly reminders via email as to not over email anyone. If you want to read it everytime I Blog, you can always just bookmark me and check when you feel like it. :) I can't figure out yet how one subscribes, but will pass that info on once I learn it.


One highlight so far was my visit to the Kahil Gibran museum in the mountains of Lebanon. I have always loved his writing and his paintings were wonderful to see right in his place of birth. I have posted a couple pics of that trip.

I hope everyone is enjoying the last few lazy days of August and celebrating all that has changed for them over the last year. some changes may feel difficult but celebrate anyways because change is the one thing we can count on and no matter how unsettling or exciting, it is always an opportunity to discover more about ourselves and the truth of who we are.

smile. it makes life better.
love love love
Alicia

Sitting Alone - Balancing Inside and Abundance

Hello Friends -

It's been way too long since I blogged. I managed to miss July all together. I must have been having too much fun - California, Melrose, Cape Cod, Melrose again, Vermont, back to Cape Cod. dinners, movies, Wicked, babies, wedding, birthday cake, four seas, beer, more four seas, sandy neck, 40 Newton, Lake Iroqouis, Lake Champlain, Mattakeese, More Sandy Neck, coffee - lots and lots of coffee. Thank you to friends and family that receive me with such generosity and love whenever I happen to appear, and then let me go back into my next adventure with a hug and a full heart.

I am off to Beirut on Aug 17 and hope to do another blog before then. In the meantime enjoy this musical video blog I recorded just this morning on the sun porch in Barnstable.

Enjoy these last few weeks of summer and remember:

You have EVERYTHING you need. You are perfect right here, right now. No matter what internal or external shifts have occurred, are occuring, or may occur, trust that ALL IS WELL.


SQ wellness is an organization I am grateful and proud to be a part of and support. We have recently upgraded our website. Change is good. If you have never visited it or want to check it out again, now's the time. Click HERE and be happy!

love love love
Alicia

The Last Blog from Cairo, Egypt

In two days, I fly back to the USA. wow.

It's been quite a year here in Cairo with many many lessons and experiences. I am grateful for so much. I am grateful to have swan and scuba dived in the red sea - 3 TIMES. I am grateful to have cruised down the Nile - WITH MY DAD (Happy Fathers Day by the way). I am grateful to have meditated and toned in the Great Pyramid on Nov. 11, 2009. I am grateful to have shared myself with my students singing songs like "Free to be you and Me" and " I get by with a little help from my friends". I am grateful to have sang at the JW Marriot a few nights ago randomly and shared my voice and my songs - the purest and truest part of my essence. (cell phone video on my Facebook page)

I am grateful to have lived in Cairo and experienced the people and the land up close and personal. It is the land - the desert and the sea and the hot sun - that makes Egypt Egypt. Just like it is the wet green hills that make Ireland, Ireland.

I am grateful to have visited my "home" land Ireland a few times while in Cairo. The juxtaposition of living in Cairo and traveling to Ireland brought great clarity and insight. My recent week with Derek O'Neill and SQ Wellness was the best yet and I encourage you to peruse the updated website for the retreat center I often visit, SQ retreats. it's a gift that keeps on giving. I will be offering healings and meditation classes from July 1-Aug 16 in the Cape Cod/Boston area and look forward to sharing the Rising Star, Prema Birthing, and Prema Agni energies with all those who feel ready to share the LOVE of who they are and be in service of themselves and Humanity.

For those of you don't know yet, I am leaving Egypt for good this Wed and will be based in Barnstable, MA from July 1-Aug. 17. Then on Aug. 17 I fly to Beirut, Lebanon and begin working at the American Community School. It will be a great new adventure and one I am truly looking forward to. More to come on that later . .. .

For now, I am grateful - grateful to fly home to the USA and spend some lovely lazy days of summer with family and friends.

Happy Summer Solstice. Be the SUN that you are and SHINE WITH GRACE on this longest day of 2010.

love love love

Alicia

May, Mothers, and the power of 3

May is a month of mother love - at least for me. It feels extra strange to not be in the US right now and with my family and friends. For the last few years, since my mom passed in 2007, I have always done a "Songs for the Divine Mother" show around mothers day. It is often one of my favorite concerts to give and always seems to summon great healing for myself and for those that attend.

As I approach the third anniversary of my mom's passing I am surprised by how much grief I can still experience during this month. It's almost as if a whole new layer surfaces reminding me that even though my Highest Self knows there is no separation, my human self longs to sit around and laugh with my mom while eating an amazing fresh mozzarella salad she used to love to make.

Yes in spirit, I have no doubt we are one and she is in service wherever she is, just as she was in service here in this dimension, but in my body, and in my senses, I miss her - especially in May.

I am grateful for my siblings and there recent babies who clearly help hold this energetic void that was left in my family, once my Mother's body left, but still there is just no when like my mom - Ellen. Seriously, if you knew her, you know what I am talking about.

She was a passionate woman. Passionate about food, and love, and justice, and her family. She taught me the power of speaking your mind and of being in humble service. Above all, she lived life with joy and charisma and strong points of view. sound familiar?

Yes, ultimately we are all our mother's daughters.

And so, I wrote this new song - cause that's what I've done since I was 9 - wrote songs. My mom was one of the first ones that knew this about me.

Enjoy and see you soon on Cape Cod!!

love love love

Death, taxes, change, and anger

No matter what, you can always count on death and taxes. I have never really resonated with this idea before. I always thought it was pretty depressing and defeatist. Recently though, perhaps because I am approaching 40, it has started to make more sense to me and I have actually found it liberating. Believe it or not, I enjoy paying my taxes now (although this year I did get a refund). Whether a refund or a check for 50% of my income, I am happy to pay my taxes. Thank you, I say; please build a new highway. Thank you I say; please let this money actually go to a school that is truly educating. Thank you I say; Please keep my neighborhood clean and safe - here at home and throughout the world. If I am going to spend money, I consciously spend it with as much love and positive intention as possible. try it. It feels good.

How much of our energy do we spend avoiding the inevitable? probably about 96% - though that's just a guess. How many times have you heard:? "Our only real fear is a fear of death". This is also one of those I never quite got. Probably because I heard the word death as meaning my actual literal death - of which I've never really been concerned about. I'm grateful to have not inherited that fear that I will suffer in my death. In truth, I think I am much more afraid of the suffering in life.

suffering. it always comes back to this. suffering. why does it exist? how can we stop it? If I create my own reality, why would I create suffering?

Once we move within ourselves to take responsibility for the power of our own thoughts and feelings, we must face this question at some point. If suffering exists, why am I creating it? or if the "I" sounds too egocentric or arrogant, then: If suffering exists, why are we creating it? co-creating it? The metaphysical and intellectual answer is: for our enlightenment. But what the hell is enlightenment and who really cares?

My highest self - the joyful child master - knows that everything is for my enlightenment and giggles when I resist and suffer, however, my human adult self can get pretty pissed off on a daily basis. Who created this reality we live in - with right and wrong, bad and good, rich and poor, single and married, dead and alive. What was she thinking?

The truth is, after taxes, there is death. And all you need during that experience is love and positive intention, so why not start practicing now. In death - an experience some call the Bardo of Becoming, no amount of money, political ideas, professional status, awards on your shelf, children you birthed, or books can help you. Only love and a clear rising of your own mind will guide you home.

This is what I am coming to understand as truth for me. Life is meant to be experienced in all it's moments. And that experience is what we signed up for. So, why not enjoy the gift of this body, in this moment, in this life and trust that everything - the good, bad, and the ugly - is here FOR YOU to show you back to some inner truth. And yes, before this truth sets us free, sometimes it pisses us off. And maybe on some days, that's OK.

Cruising down the Nile

I am writing on this Sunday which is the beginning of my week here in Egypt and the beginning of Holy Week for those that celebrate the story of Christ Jesus. I recently read an enlightening (and perhaps different than the mainstream) interpretation of death and resurrection by a woman named Celia Fenn. She talks about the relationship between Jesus and Mary Magdelene and how together through ressurection they helped birth a new balance of masculine and feminine energy. You can read the whole thing HERE.

I was blessed to have my own experience of resurrection while cruising down the nile with my father a week and a half ago. Beyond the amazing gift of experiencing the beauty between Luxor and Aswan along the Nile river, the temples, the sun. the sound of the river, I also got to share time with Dad and his new friend Pam. This was a big deal for me, because when I first came to Egypt in 2006, my mom was still alive and very present with me. I was a little nervous about my Dad coming, thinking it would make me really miss my mom and bring up all sorts of uncomfortable emotions. Instead, though, it felt like new life - for all of us and some sort of completion for me. There we were cruising down the Nile, being present, enjoying all that was. And I got to share the temple of Philae - a place dedicated to Isis and the Divine Feminine with my Dad. It felt truly miraculous!

In life, when things change, whether it be losing a loved one, losing a house, or losing a job, we may often feel like life is over, or we will never recover. In fact, the Truth is just the opposite, if we trust and have faith, who knows what new experience may open up for us. If we feel what we need to feel, let go of the old and stay open to the possibility, we can't help but experience new life. It is often from nothing, that everything comes.

From nothing, everything comes.

enjoy these pictures of the cruise. enjoy your own inner ressurections everyday, for they happen EVERY day if you are aware and present.

I am so grateful that I will be on retreat starting Wed at my home away from home in Ireland - Creacon Prema Agni Lodge through April 8.

And I will send each and every one that reads this, a big blast of love love love!

Spring is here. Be happy!

Poetry, change, and vulnerability

Happy March everyone! It's hard to believe we are almost into the middle of March. Time is certainly moving quickly. February was poetry month at ISE and some of the kids poems as well as mine are now on the ISE website. Click Here to read more.

It feels like summer here in Cairo - it was in the high nineties the last couple of days. Apparently this is unseasonably warm. My Dad arrives in a couple days with some friends, so that should be a fun adventure. I will post soon about that as well as my trip to Dahkla last month and my recent trip to Beirut. (see picture of me by the sea)

I am sending love to all. I am practicing staying present and letting go of expectations as many things in my life continue to change.

As always I am grateful for the many teachers and spiritual teachings I have been graced to have in my life. If you are looking for some guidance or support or connection as you walk your path, feel free to reach out to me or anyone you might find at SQ Wellness.

It's an amazing time to be alive and if you are feeling cranky or overwhelmed (like I have been lately) - reach out. be vulnerable. ask for help. love yourself.

it's much more fun, I promise. And ultimately creates more peace - inside and out.

love love love

Alicia

2010 #1 - Jordan in 48 hours from Cairo

Well it's Feb 26 and I am just getting to updating my Blog with anything substantial. It's been an amazing 2010 so far and time seems to be moving differently. I experience time shifting all the time. And I can't even really say what that means, except that a day can feel a year and 2 months can feel like a day.

Because so much has happened over the last 2 months, I am going to update in three different installments. this is #1 - Jordan. more to come soon on my trip to Dahkla . . .

I returned to Cairo on Jan 15 and just 2 weeks later I went with a group via bus, boat, and more bus to experience the country of Jordan. To the left you see a part of Petra known as the treasury - made famous by Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones and the last crusade. Petra is a beautiful part of Jordan and is considered one of the new 7 wonders of the world.

We took an overnight bus from Cairo to Taba on the coast of the Sinai and then took a ferry, not unlike the hi-line in Hyannis across the Gulf of Aquaba to Jordan (Aquaba). Then we took a bus up into the mountains through ice and snow (seriously!) to finally arrive in Petra in which there was flooding and temperatures in the 30's (F).

In this picture on the right I am walking through the Siq on the way to see the facade. You can see the water rushing at our feet and the amazing natural cut rocks with rose color. truly gorgeous and inspiring!

After this journey, we made our way to Amman - the capital city and enjoyed Jordanian hospitality at a hotel. After Egypt, we were all overwhelmed by the food, cleanliness, and overall good service. it was funny to see how shocked we all were.

The next day in Amman, we went to the citadel which is sort of an outdoor museum. The city of Jordan had many names. Here are some pictures showing the lineage of names - it was once called Philadelphia - something I never knew.

From the citadel, we had a great view of Amman which actually exists over 7 hills. While touring on our bus we were also shown the "beverly hills" of Amman. Pretty amazing amounts of wealth and beautiful looking homes. Jordan is governed by a king and is much smaller than Egypt. It was a great experience and gave me interesting perspective on the whole region.

On our way back from Amman to Aquaba (to get the boat back to the bus), we stopped at the Dead Sea. This experience was rather surreal. We stopped at a hotel that was overflowing in commercial abundance and clearly marketing itself as a resort and spa vacation spot. Here we were on the coast of the Dead Sea miles from where the stories of John the Baptist and his radical preaching of anti-establishment that ultimately led to his beheading, sipping juices and looking at marketing packets.

Across the way, we could see Israel, though to get there from here, feels not so easy given politics. Our Jordanian guide called Jordan "the switzerland of the middle east" meaning it gets along with everyone. I was definitely feeling the swiss vibe at the swiss owned movenpick complete with this view over the dead sea.

When I was home for Christmas I got a flip video hand me down as a gift from my big bro. So, I have started a youtube channel to post videos of my adventure. Here is some from the Jordan trip. enjoy!

Balance, Patience, and Compassion

It's hard to believe it's been almost two months since my last blog. I have been experiencing much both on the inside and out. I travelled back to the states for Christmas and new years and rode a lot of airplanes, received and gave a lot of love, and gained a great deal of perspective. Though it can be painful to feel like I am leaving loved ones behind to return to Egypt, I am also given the gift of continuing to let go of all old parts of myself that no longer serve me and open to the new.

Returning to Egypt and my own little cozy apartment has been surprisingly lovely. I had the opportunity to travel to Jordan this past weekend and see Petra, Amman and the Dead Sea. I also began teaching 3rd grade recorder. So I think it is safe to say now, I am a music teacher - the one thing I swore I would never be. HA!

All that being said, it often feels that every moment is new and anything can change. the more I focus on the moment at hand, the happier I am. Sometimes the moment includes uncomfortable feelings like anger, sadness, frustration, but if I am present and feel them, let them move through me, I get to the other side - joy, happiness, peace, compassion much faster.

It is an amazing time to be a human being. In the face of many challenges people everywhere are choosing love over fear, kindness over crankiness, joy over depression, and loving action over anger.

What do you choose each day and what helps you? This is what I have been meditating on.

love love love

Getting perspective (up in the air)

I am typing this post from my apartment in Cairo. It's somewhat strange to fly home to the US for Christmas and have to keep saying, well my apartment is in Cairo. What? My apartment is in Cairo. how did that happen? and could it be true that by the time the 3 weeks of US friends and family was ended I was looking forward to returning to my apartment to ground in after the holidays (in Cairo!). yes it is true. It feels great to be back in my own space. surprising., especially considering the last two days before I left I was quite weepy.

And that just brings me to the truth of how hard I have worked in my life to not feel pain. Why do we think feeling pain is so bad? Maybe because when we are feeling it, we are afraid it will never end. or perhaps, we don't want to appear weak or damaged or out of control.

If you ask questions like this check out SQ Wellness for a little satsang.