the wallet miracle and remembering my mom

I am on my way out of Beirut via Paris to Boston. I am grateful.

yesterday, the day before I was leaving I managed to "lose" my wallet on the way home from a restaurant. I didn't notice until the next morning when I was heading to school. Once I noticed I could not find my wallet, I immediately knew it had fallen from my pocket somewhere between paying for my meal at Olio in Hamra and my apartment at the bottom of the hill.

My first response was: thank you. thank you universe for showing me something. I assessed that I had my passport, I had cash and everything in my wallet could be cancelled and/or replaced. so yes even though it was a drag, especially the day before I head back to the states for two weeks and Christmas, it was not the end of the world.

I also then thought, whoever found my wallet needs the money more than I do. thank you again I said for showing me nothing is permanent.

I then went about my hectic morning and did not panic about my wallet. I told a few people and my middle school principal agreed to check Olio when he had to go up to the bank. About mid-morning I got an email from Kaline, my friend and HR rep at school: "did you lose something? I got a strange phone call.". I responded immediately, "Yes do you have my wallet?". she replied, "no, but a nice man does."

I came to find out that a man who spoke and read no english and was not native to Lebanon (he was probably from Syria) had found it and could not sleep all night feeling he had to get it back to the owner. He found a Fidelity insurance card in the wallet and went to the Fidelty office asking for help to find the owner. They called Kaline and she used the fidelty number to recognize that it was my wallet. I met this man up in Hamra and he returned the wallet to me complete with everything including about $150. This is what we call Grace or good karma.

Sometimes the universe or you or God gives you these experiences to remind you of how blessed you are and how good humanity wants to be. My little personal piece of it was that it reminded me of my mom and the many, many times I lost my wallet between the ages of 16 and 28 and how crazy it would make her. I always got it back and I never really worried about it, but it used to make her crazy.

I felt like she was giving me a little message saying, yes Alicia even though the world will beat the shit out of you sometimes, don't lose hope.

Gratitude in Istanbul - on my way to Ireland

It's been too long since I blogged.

Six weeks.

It's been a hell of a six weeks. not outside, but inside. Outside, life has been about the same. Yes, I live in Beirut, Lebanon, but that all seems surprisingly normal. Mostly I teach at a private American school with the typical pressures of report cards, committed but complaining teachers, and kids who find education mostly boring and way behind the way their brains and all the technology they own works.

So as I go about my daily responsibilities and be in service the best I can, I ask all the same questions I have always asked: Is this really where I am supposed to be? Am I happy? Am I making the most of my life? How do I acknowledge the reality I see around me and yet hold a higher reality of Oneness and Wellness? Will I ever know what I want to be when I grow up?

Last night I went to my weekly meditation group, which is one of my favorite parts of my life and community here in Beirut and we ended by sitting in a circle and each sharing what we are grateful for. In hindsight it reminds me a little of my mom and when we used to sit around our kitchen table and she would make us all say one thing we were grateful for. Inside (down deep) I loved it, but I often acted like it was dumb or annoying because I thought that made me cool and like everyone else. Not unlike the 8th grade students I teach, I suppose.

but I digress.

let's get back to gratitude. The meditation group.

In this circle of gratitude, there was so much love and peace and power and stillness.

In this circle of gratitude, I had no more questions. I was fully present. in Gratitude.

What did I say I was grateful for?

my breath. and each day I wake up still breathing on this dimension

my family - grandparents, parents, siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews

the Teachers and Teachings I have been blessed to experience in this lifetime

Derek and Linda and the sacred home of SQ and Ireland that I am on my way to right now

Sound - the sounds we make, the sounds we hear, the never ending sounds that heal. the gifts I have to share this sound. The silence that only sound can make.

What are you grateful for?